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Nuclear Missile at Otaki Beach
16 November, 2017
Tony Fluerty reportsPanic has broken out in Otaki, my home town, where an unexploded Nuclear Korean missile was found on the beach. The bomb squad has been called to defuse it. Military personnel say the missile was probably not intended as an attack on Otaki, which enjoys friendly relations with North Korea. Instead ... More...

Contouring made easy...
November 1, 2017

Have trouble with names?
16 June, 2017

Bill English asks New Zealanders to please ‘look busy’ for US Secretary of state visit
9 June, 2017
Prime Minister Bill English is making a sincere appeal to all New Zealanders this week, ahead of a visit from US Secretary of State Rex Tillerson. Tillerson will arrive in Wellington on Tuesday, and English says he wants all New Zealanders to "tidy up" and "look busy. ""This is a very important visit for New Zealand," he... More...

TVNZ measuring strength of storm in different locations by how wet and injured their reporters become
April 2017
The Civilian reports Tonight, as Cyclone Cook barrels into the East Coast of the upper North Island, TVNZ have stationed more than a dozen reporters in different parts of the country, in an effort to measure the effects of the storm based on how wet and damaged said journalists become. From Auckland all the way down ... More...

Pentagon Awards Contract To United Airlines To Forcibly Remove Assad
April 2017
By Paul Sharpe On Apr 11, 2017 WASHINGTON — The Pentagon announced Tuesday it had awarded a sole-source contract to United Airlines for work related to the forcible removal of President Bashar al-Assad from Syria. The contract, worth $2. 1 billion, tasks the airline company with locating Assad, grabbing him from hi... More...

Apathy and Ignorance
April 2017

Stubborn - yeah, nah
March 2017

Man Down in Aisle 5
March 2016
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $20 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford th... More...

Kapiti gets alphbetical health warning
April 2016
Kapiti Coast District Council have recently decided to continue with the practice of listing candidates alphabetically o... More...

The Real Pirates of Panama
April 2016
Nicked from the New Zealand Listener - another superb cartoon from Chris Slane.For more from Chris see www.slane.co.nz... More...

I Did It All For You – secret recording captures Key’s flag referendum heartbreak
March 2016
Breaking News: New Zealand Prime Minister John Key's real feelings abo... More...

Scientists Slowly Reintroducing Small Group Of Normal, Well-Adjusted Humans Into Society
March 2016
ITHACA, NY—In an ambitious attempt to revive a population long conside... More...

Nation learns of Judith Collins’ reappointment via dead ravens on their lawn, darkening skies
08/12/2015 at 4:22 pm An unexplained thick tar has begun washing up... More...

Referendum will allow New Zealanders to vote on new flag quadrant-by-quadrant
October 2015
The upcoming referendum on whether or not to change New Zealand's flag... More...

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2015 EUROPE
From JOHN CLEESE
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level f... More...

a moral to this story.....
November 2014
Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eg... More...

Pluck It families meet Royals
April 2014
Parents of 10 special Pluck It goslings will be hoping their goslings sleep well tonight, ahead of meeting the royal f... More...

MH 370 - a conspiracy theory.
April 2014
Have you heard of this conspiracy theory re the disappearance of MH 370? The story goes like this: The American ... More...

50 Shades of Reverse...
He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backward... More...

NZ flogging off bits of Moon to avert asset sales political poisoned chalice
Prime Minister John Goldfischkey and former Kapiti schoolgirl and curr... More...

Kapiti election hoarding draws complaints to KCDC and Irish Consul
November 2013
Dozens of distressed parents have complained to the Kapiti Coast Distr... More...

Tried and untrue spray-on/prey-on product... ETHNOCIDE !!
Having trouble with pesky Maori land, designated wahi tapu, sacred spr... More...

Kapiti councillor reincarnation of ancient king?
November 2013
Kapiti psychic Clare Voyant has informed Pullet Surprise that, due to ... More...

Stewart Island as Aids Colony?
Disturbing and persistent rumours suggest that there have been ongoing international negotiations at the highest level t... More...

Google Earth Snaps Kapiti Drug Deal
A Kapiti woman was arrested on Tuesday for supplying cannabis thanks to being caught on camera by Google Earth doing a d... More...

Rabbits in Russia Find No Haven
Rabbits in Russia Find No Haven, Despite Support From the West. Page A1 New York Times 12 August 2013 If this ... More...

Pants on Fire!
Simon Prast
Simon Bridges Member of Parliament Tauranga Dear SimonI felt I just had to write to you to express my disgu... More...

On Julia, John, Judith and Joan Crawford
July 2013
A senior National MP, speaking to me on the grounds of anonymity, says that John Key has just two months to cobble toget... More...

John Goldfischkey nominates Kapiti girl for next prime minister
Prime Minister John Goldfischkey announced today, 'Having had the hono... More...

Waikanae River Taniwha?
By Pullet Surprise News Agency
Several sightings of an unidentified creature have been reported lately to Pullet Surprise. Descriptions of the creature... More...

Shazza and Bazza celebrity guests at National Field Day
June 2013
Huge crowds thronged to see celebrity guests Shazza and Bazza Throgmor... More...

Celebrity couple Shazza and Bazza recent visitors to Kapiti
June 2013
Australian celebrity couple Shazza and Bazza Throgmorton say they enjo... More...

Horror of Frozen Babies says Russian nurse now living in Kapiti
May 2013
A Russian-born Kapiti nurse has confirmed disturbing accounts, now eme... More...

Kapiti Island to be mined for gold
By Pullet Surprise News Agency
A controversial new Bill enabling unrestricted mining is soon to be introduced into Parliament by Joyce Stevens, Ministe... More...

Density Church moving headquarters to Kapiti
By Pullet Surprise News Agency
Bishop Bantam Ariki has told Pullet Surprise that his Density Church is moving its headquarters to Paraparaumu.'We're mo... More...

Food Fanatic Goes Mad
Police have arrested an unnamed man for injury to a dairy cow. Police say the man will appear in the Palmerston North Di... More...

Osama Bin Laden Seen at Coastlands?
A number of independent sightings have been reported of a tall, gaunt, middle eastern looking man, closely resembling Os... More...

Minister Joyce Stevens Interviewed on the Kapiti Expressway
March 2013
By Pullet Surprise News Agency STEVENS: You'll have to ask the Min... More...

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